Category Archives: NFL nicknames

Meet Fluffy

Here at Football Relativity, we’re always looking for good nicknames to give players. So we’ve introduced you to The Tower, Jackpot, and Spanx. And now we’re pleased to announce a new nickname, made possible by iPhone spell check. I was making a note for a future blog entry on breakout fantasy receivers for 2010, and one of the names I added to the list was Cardinals WR Early Doucet. But my iPhone changed “Doucet” to “Fluffy.” And since that’s too funny not to commemorate, we’ll be calling Early Fluffy from now on.

Good luck this season, Fluffy.

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Meet Spanx

My brother Chase thinks there’s a curse. We’ve given two guys nicknames on this blog – Kris Jenkins (aka Jackpot) and Pisa Tinoisamoa (aka the Tower). Both went on injured reserve this week with injuries.

We decided that we must test this curse theory. Is FootballRelativity.com the new Madden video-game cover? Or is there just an eerie coincidence? One thing is for certain – the best way to test this is with the most durable quarterback of all-time — Brett Favre.

We called Favre the king of separation anxiety when he returned to the the NFL during training camp. You can abbreviate that SepAnx, which of course shortens to Spanx. So we’re nicknaming Favre after a line of women’s slimming undergarments. (Hey, when I got married, I started watching Oprah with my wife occasionally. You learn stuff. This is one of those things.)

If Favre gets hurt and has to miss a game, we’ll know for sure that we wield a curse. If that’s the case, we will use the power of said curse indiscriminately and with bias. It will be fun.

Until then, say hi to Spanx for us.

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A new nickname – Meet Jackpot!

I’m admittedly overly interested in uniform numbers, so I often think about such things during games. That happened during last night’s New York Jets/Miami Dolphins game. I saw Kris Jenkins with his massive frame dwarfing the two 7s on the front of jersey, and I thought that he needed a third 7 to cover the front of his jersey.

Then I got the mental picture of Jenkins wearing 777, and I thought…

Jackpot!

So from now on, here on Football Relativity we’re going to call Kris Jenkins by his new nickname – Jackpot Jenkins.

He joins Pisa Tinoisamoa – aka the Tower - as renamed players here on FR.

Hopefully Jenkins will continue to make big plays all season so that we can continue to refer to his new nickname. Much luck and much love to Jackpot Jenkins over the rest of the season.

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FR: Best Nicknames

With the unfortunate demise of Smash ‘n Dash – aka LenDale White and Chris Johnson – as a nicknamed dynamic duo, we thought it would be fun to play football relativity with the league’s best nicknames. This is not an exhaustive list, so leave your favorite nicknames in the comments and we’ll integrate them into the list. 10 is the nickname that’s the most fun; 1 is a nickname that’s kind of dumb. Again, we’re rating just the nickname here, not the player or the coach.

Before we begin, a historical note. It seems like there are countless great nicknames for groups in the NFL in the past – Minnesota’s Purple People Eaters; the Rams’ Fearsome Foursome and, later, Greatest Show on Turf; Pittsburgh’s Steel Curtain and Blitzburgh; Washington’s Hogs; and Atlanta’s 1970s Grits Blitz. We also have team-wide nicknames like Carolina’s Cardiac Cats, Atlanta’s Dirty Birds, the Bungles and the Aints. Unfortunately, there aren’t those kind of nicknames anymore. We will definitely take ideas for such nicknames here – who knows, maybe we can start one.

10 – Ochocinco (aka Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco) – This started as a nickname and now it’s a legal name. Yes, it’s bad Spanish, but it’s a heck of a lot catchier than ochenta y cinco, and we have to give Chad props for that. We also have to praise his commitment to the nickname. In the end, this has all the elements a good nickname needs – it’s fun, catchy, and memorable. That’s why it’s atop this list.

9 – Megatron (aka Lions WR Calvin Johnson) – I love this nickname. It’s current – Transformers is a hit movie (if a terrible one, according to Roger Ebert). Megatron is bigger, badder, stronger, and better than all the other transformers, and those same attributes describe Johnson as well. The only hangup I have with this nickname is that Megatron is a bad guy and Johnson isn’t. Oh well – guess we can’t have it all.

8 – none yet

7 – Lights Out (aka Chargers OLB Shawne Merriman) – One of the few defensive players on this list, Merriman gave himself this nickname. It’s in reference to his ability to knock players out – put their lights out, so to speak. This isn’t an all-time classic nickname, but it is one of the better ones out there right now. Give Shawne two points for creativity on the name – even though the Lights Out dance stinks.

6 – Matty Ice (aka Falcons QB Matt Ryan) – This nickname hasn’t completely stuck yet, but if it does, it would be a good thing. It’s catchy, and it describes Ryan’s calm under pressure. Let’s hope Ryan continues to play well so that we get another good nickname into the hopper.

5 – Fast Willie (aka Steelers RB Willie Parker) – This nickname isn’t complicated, but its simplicity is its virtue. Fast Willie is in fact fast, and it’s fun to say. Sometimes we gravitate toward nicknames that are more clever or more complex, but this is an old-school name that works.

4 – Earth, Wind, and Fire (aka Giants RBs Brandon Jacobs, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Derrick Ward) – This nickname was a bit derivative, and it was dated as well. But it did a decent job of describing the running styles of each player. Unfortunately for the nickname game, Ward left for Tampa during the offseason, so Earth, Wind, and Fire is no more.

3 – T.O. (aka Bills WR Terrell Owens) – We won’t include all initials and abbreviations on this list, because those are generally too easy. But in Owens’ case, the initials qualify as a nickname because they tie back to an actual term in the game. It would be like someone whose initials spelled YAC (yards after the catch). Of course, YAC would be a much better nickname, but T.O. ain’t bad.

3 (con’t) – Big Ben (aka Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger) – Big Ben is tall. Big Ben is alliterative. Big Ben is not a unique nickname. If Roethlisberger didn’t have two rings, this nickname wouldn’t be memorable. But it’s sticky and not stupid, so it stays off the bottom of this list.

2 – Mangenius (aka Browns head coach Eric Mangini) – This New York tabloid nickname became Mangini’s moniker during his time with the Jets. It’s catchy, but the problem is that it’s not so much true, given the fact that Mangini made the playoffs in just one of his three Big Apple seasons. Mangini will need better success at his second coaching stop to prevent this nickname from being used derisively.

1 – The Tower (aka Bears LB Pisa Tinoisamoa) – We can’t rate this nickname all that high, since we’re the only ones using it at the moment. But we shall include it, because we’re on a campaign to spread the word on The Tower.

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The Tower is toppled

No Bengal bingo Friday, but there was a significat cut. The Rams released their leading tackler, LB Pisa Tinoisamoa, today. Here are some thoughts on the Tower (I don’t care if he’s just 6-1; with a name like Pisa, we HAVE to call him The Tower). You can see how this cut compares to other post-draft cuts in this relativity post.

Tinoisamoa — a.k.a. The Tower — was the Rams’ leading tackler in 2008 with 135 stops, so it was somewhat surprising that he was released just after the team’s first minicamp. But the Tower Pisa¬†was leaning too much the previous two years as he missed a bunch of time with injury. Once the Rams invested a second-round pick in James Laurinaitis, the Tower’s starting spot was gone. He’s not special, but he’s an effective inside ‘backer who can clean up tackles if he’s protected. With so many teams moving to 3-4 defenses, there will be someone who can use the Tower at one of those inside spots, at least for two downs. He doesn’t merit a big contract, but he does deserve a starting spot in the league.

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